Remember Me Too: Dealing with Infant Loss

 “I come in here once or twice a week just to smell her.”

Her daughter’s toys and stuffed animals still lay in her crib.

“He thought it was a boy but he is one of 5 boys,” recalls Nichcole DeKok with a smile.

For years Nichcole and Dar DeKok were told they couldn't have children. Then in October of last year they were blessed with a miracle. Sophia Lee was born...

“Instant love,” says Nichcole of the first moment she held Sophia.

With bright red hair and sparkling eyes she was a dream come true.

“She was groovy, like an old soul.”

On the night of July Sixth Nichcole put her beautiful baby girl to bed never knowing the nightmare she was about to face.

“I put her down at 9 and then my husband looked at her at 11 and she was totally fine.”

But sometime between then and 1 Sophia rolled over and slipped in between her crib and mattress.

“I pulled her over and her face was blue and then I immediately put her on the floor. My husband administered CPR. I called EMS.”

The doctors worked on her for close to an hour.

“My husband looked at me and said we have to let her go and I thought to myself how do you let go? How do you give up on your child?”

It was the most horrific turning point in Nichcole's life.

She looked for someone to talk to; another mother who had lost a child but Fort Stewart where her husband is stationed had nothing.

So she channeled her anger and sadness and started remember me.

“I go there and meet people that are going through the same exact grieving experience.”

Now on a mission to start a similar program in all branches of the military she's hoping it will keep her daughters memories alive.

“You are always going to hurt and they will always be with you.”

Especially this past Sunday when Sophia would have turned one.

“You just never know what you got till its gone. I had a beautiful daughter that would wake up and smile at me and I would sing to her when she woke up.”      

Nichcole's group on Fort Stewart "Remember Me" meets the first and third Thursday of every month.

http://www.remembermetoo.org/

If you are not in the military but looking for a support group, The Zoe Foundation at Hospice Savannah also meets regularly.

http://zoe-foundation.org/index.html

This Saturday you can show your support for families who have lost children by attending the starburst luminary circle and vigil.

http://zoe-foundation.org/news-events.html

October 22^nd The Zoe Foundation will host a Walk to Remember at Forsyth Park from 10:30 to 12:30.

http://zoe-foundation.org/news-events.html